


505

by lesthowells



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hotels, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 14:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14475123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesthowells/pseuds/lesthowells
Summary: They've shared hotel rooms more times than he can count, each time had different, somehow this felt almost completely new- four years, four hotels, four moments





	505

_2010_

 

Portugal is a breath of fresh air. The weather is glorious, sunny without being too hot, but Phil is still mildly concerned that he might burn into a crisp, it didn’t take much for him to burn despite how much sun cream he covered himself with. Dan is the complete opposite, within just three days he turns a gorgeous golden brown that compliments his eyes and hair in ways Phil didn’t think was possible. The rain had come sudden and unexpectedly at midday, halting their plans to go for a walk and explore. Phil finds that he does not care that it is raining or that it means being trapped inside their hotel room. He does not care because Dan is here, they are here together, and it is enough.

“What should we do now?” Dan asks. He’s lying on his back on the bed, his arms spread out so that his t shirt stretches up, a sliver of skin visible around his hip between his shirt and shorts. The slight of it makes all the words catch in Phil’s throat, he stares, transfixed.

He takes too long to answer; the silence makes Dan turn his head. Having Dan’s gaze on him snaps him out of his trance.

“I dunno. We don’t have to do anything, we’re on holiday.” Phil wonders if his voice sounds as strange in reality as it does to himself. He watches a smile slowly stretch across Dan’s face, the dip in his cheek that Phil aches to kiss.

“Or we could do, something?”

Phil meets his smile immediately, sweeping forwards and catching Dan’s mouth with his own. He wonders if he will ever get used to this; being with Dan, the elated giddiness of loving and being loved. They’ve shared a plethora of kisses since they met, no two feel the same. He feels Dan’s fingers pulling at his shoulders, he sinks easily between Dan’s hips into the mattress beneath them.

Phil thinks this surely means something, through all the cosmic vastness of the universe, how was it possible that they fit together so well? Their hands made for holding, lips made for kissing.

It’s never quite enough, being with Dan. It’s all he can hear, taste, smell and see; the feel of him all over, flooding every sense and thought.

He doesn’t need grand hotel suites, expensive meals or luxury gifts. All of that is superfluous compared to this right now; Dan underneath him, fingers trailing down his lower back leaving sparks in their wake.

If this was going to be his last week on earth, he would be okay with that. Phil thinks of the last full week they spent together, last year back in Manchester; he feels the same blissful happiness again now.

It’s the beginning only the beginning, soon they will no longer be apart by distance or circumstance. In a few months it’ll almost be like this, Dan will be right here, real and present- as he exists in Phil’s every waking thought. It won’t quite be the same, this time, this moment will pass and never replicate. Phil is okay with that, he curls their fingers together and presses harder. He needs every sensory memory to capture this, keep it alive for months and years to come.

He knows that they’ll make it through everything, over the hurdles to the greener grass. This will be one of many memories, a promise of the future together; a promise he will keep.

 

_2016_

 

It’s dark, almost pitch black and the muggy Kentucky air clinging to his skin reacts to the slight stuffiness of the room, it makes him feel slightly nauseous. He throws the duvet off him, the cool air hits his skin but the relief is only temporary. The mattress underneath him is too soft, he can feel the springs digging into his lower back.  He needs to sleep, they have another show tomorrow. They weren’t going to get another hotel stop for a week, he should be making the most of this rare night of getting an actual bed. This does not stop the crawling restlessness under his skin, the hum of his overactive brain fighting against him. Beside him Phil is asleep, lying on one arm, snoring softly. The whole place is unarguably grim, living up to every stereotype of creepy American motels depicted in films and television.

They’d arrived quite late, already past 10pm, they had been on the freeway all day and needed to stop over here before they arrived in the next city. Dan had briefly considered staying on the bus rather than sleep in a motel that looked like the prime location for a murder. But then this was the night off the bus in weeks, the first night where he could sleep with Phil without having to sneak back to his bunk in the early hours of the morning. It didn’t make the place any more appealing. It was worse when they got inside, both he and Phil had exchanged a silent glance, not needing to say anything to understand what each other was thinking.

Dan was tired, but he hadn’t wanted to sleep yet, he wasn’t even sure if he would be able to, so he was grateful when Phil suggested they film a gaming video- at least it would help distract him for a few hours. It had worked for a while, but the feeling of unease remained, crawling under his skin and triggering other anxieties that were hovering in the corners of his brain.

It hadn’t taken much to set his imagination off, the moment of figures passing outside the window cased shadows from the lights in the parking lot that kept catching his eye whist they filmed. Eventually, Phil had gotten up to draw the curtains, but it hadn’t been enough to settle his mind.

Dan stares up at the ceiling, listening to the sound of Phil’s breathing, it’s mildly comforting. If he closes his eyes and concentrates he can almost pretend that he is at home, back in their flat, in their bed. But he’s not at home, the sudden and intense pang of longing erupts in his chest and rises to his throat. It’s not unexpected or new, the melancholy of homesickness lingering for the past month or so. Sometimes he barely feels it, the adrenaline high from the show or from a rare day off where they’ve gone off exploring or just played video games in the back of the bus. Sometimes it’s like this, sometimes thinking of home hurts like a punch to the gut.

Dan sits up, as slowly and carefully as he can manage, trying his hardest not wake up Phil. He wants to get is his laptop, but he left it over on the other side of the room, with all the rest of their tech after they’d finished filming and he doesn’t have the heart to leave the bed completely. Instead he reaches down to the floor, searching blindly for his phone but not being able to find it, he must be moving too much before he feel Phil’s fingers against his hip.

“Dan, what are you doing?” his voice is a low murmur, half masked in sleep.

“Nothing,” finally he feels the edge of metal against his fingers and grabs onto it. “I’m just getting my phone.” He replies with a whisper, sliding back closer to the middle of the bed.

“You can’t sleep again.” Phil responds, it’s not a question and Dan cannot deny it either.

“It’s okay Phil, I’m okay, go back to sleep.” He feels bad for waking Phil up, doesn’t want him to worry.

Dan feels Phil’s hand against his, taking the phone from his grip and placing it on the table on the other side of the bed. He doesn’t bother to protest, too tired and unsettled. Phil pulls him back down into the bed, into his chest, winding arms tight around him. Dan feels the beat of Phil’s heart against his cheek, his fingers drawing gentle circles against his scalp.

“You’re okay, everything is okay.” Phil whispers, slightly delirious but Dan his grateful nonetheless. Sometimes he needs this, needs to be held tight, needs the reassurance. He needs it a lot more than he ever allows himself to let on, more than he ever asks for.

Tomorrow will be better, they have a show, they’ll be back on the bus, but he’ll be too tired to care. They’ll be back to sneaking about, subtle and hiding until the next hotel- until the next break.

He accepts tonight for what it is, it’s not the first or the last. He closes his eyes and shifts closer to Phil, feeling the warmth spread over him. Tonight isn’t so good, but tomorrow, tomorrow will be better.

 

_2017_

 

He tastes salt, seawater and sweat against Phil’s skin but it doesn’t bother him, it’s a reminder of where they are. Their hands can meet and slot together, they can curl against each other on the beach, by the pool, on the balcony all without the choking fear and dread of being noticed. They can kiss with abandon whenever they want, and Dan does. Partly just because he can, the little thrill that acknowledgement brings sends a spark down his spine. Partly because Phil is right there next to him, looking unworldly gorgeous it makes his heart flip.

Dan is glad they decided to go away, glad that they could be here right now. For the first time in months, he feels like he can breathe. He loves the hotel that is clean and sleek, white and minimal. The room has wide windows that pour in light during the day, idyllic views of the island landscape so otherworldly different from London.  

They’re lying on the bed in their room, making good use of the aircon before they go outside again for dinner. Dan’s mouth follows the broad of Phil’s shoulders, mapping the freckles scattered across them and up the juncture of his neck. He feels almost drunk, despite not having a drop of alcohol. The same light-headedness comes over him now, the floaty sensation in his limbs.  

“You’re in a good mood.” Phil whispers, his voice is low and slightly teasing. Dan knows the voice, has heard it many times but like everything else-it was different now, more.

Dan pulls back slightly, enough so that their eyes can meet, Phil’s are impossibly big and glisten in the light, reflecting back into his own. There was a lot he that could say, probably too much but somehow right now he felt all those words were needless “I am. I’m glad we’re here.”

He can say that because he means it, more than just where they are right now, but where they are together- their lives as one whole.

Phil’s palms skim down over his bare shoulder blades and down the curve of his spine, settling on his hips. Their lips meet with soft smiles, melting into long kisses, unhurried and ardent.

They’ll have to go back eventually; this dream won’t last forever but Dan wants to cling to it for a while longer. With his eyes closed, he can hear the sound of the waves in the distance, smell the heat in the air, feel every spark from Phil’s fingers on his skin.

No dream is this real, he snaps out of it. A rush of consciousness, he knows Phil has felt it too. This time is for them alone, the rest can wait.

 

_2018_

 

The hotel room is decent, there was always a risk when they were not responsible for booking that they could end up somewhere grim. There had been many occasions like that on the US leg of tatinof, memories of sleazy motels in the middle of nowhere half way across the Texan desert was still present in Phil’s mind. This one was a thousand times nicer than that, although it was far from fancy. They didn’t offer room service which he found ridiculous, surprising himself with how annoyed that made him.

They've shared hotel rooms more times than he can count, each time had different, somehow this felt almost completely new. Three days to go. This morning they had left their apartment behind for the best part of 5 months. It wasn’t quite a proper goodbye, they were gonna be back in London again in a week, but the significance remained, in three days the tour was officially starting. Today was the first full rehearsal, seeing the set for the first time completed in all its glory had been a weird mix of excitement, nerves and emotion. It had all gone well, it was only now that he begun to feel exhausted, but his brain remained annoyingly active.

Phil looks over a Dan beside him, the brightness of the Mac screen illuminating his face, casting light shadows that enhance his cheekbones and curve of his jaw.  

“You look beautiful.” Phil says aloud. There’s no real reason for the admission, he just wants to say it, wants to see the familiar pink flush appear on Dan’s cheeks.

Dan shakes his head, smile not quite reaching his face. “I don’t look any different from earlier Phil.”

Phil resists a frown, sometimes he forgets that Dan doesn’t always accept these easy compliments, Phil wishes he would.

“No, you do. You look,” He didn’t know how to describe it, because truthfully his appearance wasn't different, but looking at Dan now, evoked different feelings from earlier. There was a soft golden glow to him now, maybe it was the dim light of the room, or maybe it was just his imagination but whatever it was, it made his heart beat double time. It’s almost 2 am and they should almost defiantly be asleep by now but the live wire fizzles in his brain and all rational responsibility is side lined by the desire for closeness.

He shakes his head. “Stop reading wiki articles about aeroplanes and come here.”

Dan’s pulls his gaze up to meet Phil’s eyes, smiling slightly now. He closes the top of his Mac and slides over to Phil’s side of the bed. He reaches out immediately, drawing his fingers down Dan’s throat, fitting them in the dip in his clavicle and feels Dan's breath hitch. The deep of his brown eyes stare back into Phil’s own, not questioning but waiting.

Dan's skin is silky smooth and warm under his fingers, it floods into his bloodstream and straight to his chest. He stares into depths of Dan’s eyes, loses himself slightly the rich brown and flecks of gold that dance in the light.

“You look really beautiful.” Phil whispers finally, unable to move or blink, it even feels hard to breathe.

A smile breaks across Dan’s face finally, it’s gentle and timid, the gleam in his irises soften like chocolate melting.

Phil quite doesn’t know where all of this emotion has come from, why it feels like he’s drowning in it. Maybe it was the tour starting, seeing their set for the first time today, knowing the first show was less than 48 hours away. All of it was real, they had done this together after months and months, it was finally happening.

This was theirs.

Phil trails his fingers across Dan’s cheek and down to his jaw, his hands are shaking.

“Can I kiss you?” He has no real reason to ask, other than that he can, that he wants to.

Dan breaks into a giggle, so quiet it’s barely audible but he nods, his arms looping around Phil’s shoulders. Their lips meet, and hands reach, and just for a moment all time stops, it’s just them and the universe; it’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading
> 
> you can say hello @lesthowells on tumblr


End file.
